as u can see, when i post here at tabulas, it means that im up to something. not on this one though. all im going to do is whine and whine so if u dont feel like hearing someone scream his lungs out, dont bother reading.

 

i'm going through the hardest time of my life right now.

im physically (flu, tortured larynx) and mentally sick (not retarded or crazy though lol) at the moment and this torment of mine has been going on for months dating back to the remainder of last year. in the first place, it was me who messed my life up so u can piss me off for doing so but u might as well help me get back on track with a few words of wisdom or thoughts on how to cope with the right kind of life. i've skipped a lot of my classes, wasted my time playing cards or dota or counter strike (lately lng) and im having trouble in my thesis (which i might consider dropping now considering the amount of available time i have to finish it).  how i wish that i could turn back time to a few months back where i could have set everything right. i feel sorry for myself. there's not much i could do now but wait.

 so help me GOD

For a second when I was on my way to ateneo with vany, all my good days back in UP with someone I MISS BADLY flashed in front of my very eyes. I fell silent for a moment and I in my mind, I uttered these words : "YOU SCREWED UP BIG TIME". Right now, I've just finished reading past blog entries of dana in her livejournal account and something that should have caught my attention a year back only struck me today. IM A MORON.I had the bestfriend any human being could ever have in this world and yet, everything that we built so quickly in months, things that I thought would last for a lifetime disappeared, gone into thin air. Just like with all those things I have been doing in my life lately. I have disappointed my friends, my parents and MYSELF. I expected too much, but that much I know I can do but shit happens, I messed everything up even before my dreams could come true. What have I done with my life?

I LOST GOOD FRIENDS along the way and MESSED AN ALMOST but not quite PERFECT LIFE that I worked so hard for to have.

I still have time to change and turn things around. I know I still have and I'm glad to say that Im on the right track. I just wish the people around me are still kind enough to stay and help me re-build all those broken foundations of my dream kingdom. A kingdom not meant for a king but one for a peasant who dreamt of life. A REAL LIFE.

PLEASE HELP ME GET MY LIFE BACK.

Currently listening to: everything - lifehouse
Currently feeling: confused

Catchy title isn't it? haha.. haven't posted anything here for quite sometime now.. almost 3 months na din pala kong inde nagbloblog. Am I dead? nah. still pretty much alive and kicking! I've been through a lot of problems lately and only God knows what they are. What a long post! haha!

 

Oh btw, we're rocking with that song.. I sound good!

Looking for dota opponents.. 5v5, 4v4, 3v3 cainta area...

Currently listening to: welcome to the black parade - MCR
Currently feeling: rocking!

haha! it's been a while! (thanx  for the wake up call ) i've been through a lot in the past month (midterms, magic tournaments and hell of love stuff haha). its still a very busy road ahead of me so I'll be going. Haba ng post ko!

"Greatness at any cost"

                                                - Dark Confidant

 But are we really willing to pay the price?

Human beings are natural receivers. We tend to take more rather than give more and I'm so sure of this. You can personally see me and cut my tongue in 2 if I am wrong. But where am I leading to?

Oftentimes, we disregard other people's feelings when making decisions. ESPECIALLY LIFE CHANGING ONES. And in doing those, we don't notice what we have done to others that might affect their future or their well beings. But if it favors us, we push through and enjoy the moment and we think about it later. BUT DO WE FEEL FOR THE ONES WE LEFT BEHIND? I don't know. That's the choice we make when doing things. So before doing anything, choose right and think carefully of what the aftermath of things would be. This way, things would go smoothly and damage will be evaded or lessened.

So help US GOD.